mel

Input

2006-10-12T17:01:00.000+08:00

hi.

birthday coming.
sian.
i'm getting older.
soon, my birthday wish will include botox etc.
haha!

lk real only.

excited bout weekend.
its been a long time eh hunnnneeeyyyyy.
ha...ha...

honestly, if u're thinking of getting me a present don't. money is fine. hahahaha!! in singapore dollars, us dollars, euros or pounds pls. lk i mentioned in my comment in the previous post.

no lah. seriously its cos i'm not giving any treats so i don't want any presents in return.

and if anyone is wondering.
NO special plans with friends this year.
i'm lazy to plan lah.
only sayang made plans cos i made her do all the decisions..hahahahaha.....

so yep.......
on the other hand jillene's having a big birthday bash next weekend!!
haha.. excited for you ya!!
can't wait to shop for clothes to go out this weekend with sayang n for jillene's birthday. haha!

i'm so boring. blog bout boring stuff getting bored. i need to go chg lah.

n baby is asking if i finish blogging yet n i am soon so blah blah blah blah blah bye.
blah
blah
blah blah.
blah.

BLAH!

Mel Says..

2006-10-04T23:15:00.000+08:00

I'll let you whip me if i misbehave. *winks says:
can help me blog
I'll let you whip me if i misbehave. *winks says:
this sentence

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'll let you whip me if i misbehave. *winks says:
my birthday wish for this year is money. the more the merrier.
I'll let you whip me if i misbehave. *winks says:
haha

-

Baby, mission accomplished?
Hahahaha.
Happy many months!

New Template!

2006-09-03T19:43:00.000+08:00

Woooo!
Baby, you wanted a template with an "Exploding Dog" picture right?
I found one!

=)

I love you!
Happy (1 day before) 3 years anniversary!

I loovvveeee you.

FUCK U!

2006-08-28T20:36:00.000+08:00

Stupid blogger.

Hello. Re-typing 1st time. Let's not make this happen again. Damn blogger has to screw up on me. I shall resort to typing on Words than transferring my shit here. FUCK U.

Ok here I go again.

I lurveee the Sept issue of Female. It has the latest ads from the fav brands of ya’ll sisters out there who would lurvvee to have endless collections from. LOL.

Anyway, this one page I really love is ‘10 Things a girl can NEVER have enough of’

Time to shop!
Sweet love from her man (no woman!)
Pretty Lingerie
Pampering-massage today, facial tomorrow and hair spa in between
Great ideas
Beauty sleep
SHOES! BAGS! SHOES! BAGS! SHOES! SHOES! BAGS!
Compliments
Good friends’ advice and encouragement
Puppy love from a fuzzy-furred fan

Tell me. Is this not true ladies? LOL! I personally LOVE no 6 & 7! Hahaha!

On a personal note, I have started sch, I have started sch, I have started sch!! HAHA!

Feels lk poly again y’all noe? The same kinda shitty lecturers u get, loud classmates who make fun of lecturers. Super long breaks and nth to do in between.

This time, there’s a diff. Sch is no longer opp hm. *very very sad face

This time, sch’s a long LONG LONG fucking LONG journey from hm. It sucks just thinking of it. SIAN.

BTW!

Anniversary coming!! Hahaha!!
No money..*whines
I wanna shop..*whines
No money..*whines

Conclusion, no money no shopping, no anni present. OMG! Wat a disastrous combo!!! ARGH!
Thank god pay is coming! Thank god pay is coming!
Haha. Ok till next time ppl. See ya n have a nice night.

O one last thing!! I noe I’m abit late k. But I love the Chloe Leather Paddington bag. It is also featured in the Sept issue of Female mag. LOL! That exact same one featured there. As well as the purple Gucci shoes featured inside. DAMN NICE! Haha. Ok now go buy the mag n see it! Haha!

WAH SEH! WAH PIANG!

2006-08-04T01:54:00.000+08:00

hahaha!!

hello everyone!!

SURPRISE!!!!!

i'm back with one entry

a quick update (ok maybe slow and random)

it is (drum roll) My 2 years and 11 months anniversary with my BABY!

hahaha!! woohoo!!

so here's a quick note to YOU.

dearest baby,

I LOVE YOU! happy anniversary!!
As i've said, its been a long time coming and you are so very precious to me. :)
always always
:)

xoxoXXoXoxo(look familiar?*grins)
Mel (ur gurlflen)

on another note,
I AM BERY BERY PLOUD OF MESELF!
I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE ACHIEVED ALL THE RESOLUTIONS THAT I HAVE MADE!!!!!
on top of it i'm going to UNI!!!
and i signed up for my basic theory!!(whispers: again)
how exciting is that you tell me!

i cannot believe it. THE achievements!!(enter emo song and teary eyes)
haha. lame

aussie was super fucking fucking fun fun fun can?!
wat's more the blooooddddyyy nice weather!
sg=hot hot HOT HOT HOT!!!!! need i say more?
btw zac: hello!!! miss ya! wish you were in sg suffering with us! hahaha! i'm such a good flen hor! n present all pass to the necessary ppl liao hor!
/

so singlish hor? neber mind lah. i'm just feeling it man. random.

so if anyone's thinking work's good, job's paying well, r/s is bery bery good thank you, i'm good, very slpy and hyper at the same time now that is(?!?!?!).

i miss my baby now. she's msning me but i'm busy typing here. like wat's my prob rite?! ok replied.

shit. work's at 8.30am. wake up at 7.15am. i'm still here?
hahahaha

i'm so happy today. haha. partly is cos its my anni with baby da ren and also life's good now.
O o OOOO KL THIS WEEKEND. omg lah. so happening this year(SHOUTS SHOPPING). LOL!
i'm such a happening person. hahahaha.. i seriously burst out in laughter just typing that.

ok. i shall leave this post at such a high note.

i'll be back whn i'll be back k.

in the mean time. . . . HANG TIGHT GUYS!

this year's been pretty good to me!

song choice>>> Justin Timberlake-Sexy Back.(on repeat! ha)

Brand new year.

2006-01-03T01:04:00.000+08:00

Doesn't feel like a brand new year.

This time.
No more resolutions.
I realised i kept none.
*nervous laughter.

2005//
It feels like such an unbelievably short year.
It just flew past like that.
The good stuff that came out of it was that i got to travel abit.
There wasn't really anything super bad that happened this year to me.
(Cept' the fact that i know a few people whom have had problems and there were some breakups, celebrity and otherwise.)
I'm quite thankful for that i'm spared everything majorly bad.
Everybody chorus in for a 'HENG AH!'
I hope 2006 will treat me and everyone else better. :)

O yah.
Actually, i take my words back.
I think i would make resolutions.
Just four.
1. Find a job (i'm getting abit desperate!)
2. Make this great r/s i already have even better.
3. GO TO MOS!
4. Go to Aussie in june with baby and friends!

These are do-able resolutions so i have no qualms about making them.
*beams.

This reminds me.
It's a new year and my birthday just passed like 2months ago which makes me (ahem) *whispers 21 already.
Yet unfairly before i can enjoy being 21 in 2005, 2006 chases after me and reminds me that i'm gonna be 22 in 2006.

Tell me.
HOW SHITY IS THIS?!?!?!?!?!!!!

*Takes a deep breath and calms down.

O yes,
This reminds me also.
MOS! MOS! MOS! MOS!
I pray that i will be able to go this friday because my darling has enough money for the both of us.

Now for something random.
AIYO!
Now there's nothing on the tele to watch.
And erm i wanna buy season 1 (and 2 if there is) of The OC.
Gifts are also accepted hor!
:D

p/s: i'm not mad baby. You noe i still love you.

Hi.

2005-12-14T03:03:00.000+08:00

Hi all.

Its been a long time aye?
you know recently i think my english is getting from bad to worse because of lack of usage so i shall try to type in full when i blog now.

anyway, i was listening/watching the song/video of Kelly Clarkson's new song because of you and this sounds really offbeat or like huh or whatever but that song really hits home.
its just that when i watch the video everything seems so familiar.
it really reminds me of my dad.
brings back bad memories.
i thought it is all over already now that he's god knows where but i guess not.

i guess i thought everything will be ok if i don't think about it anymore.
you know what.
doesn't happen.

its just that i haven't come to full terms with it.
i wonder when will that happen.
questions will always dwell and linger i suppose.

o well, at least i have someone to lean on. :)
that's a nice thought.

on a brighter note, i finally found a job!
hooray!!
that means money and shopping!!

x'mas is coming.
another year is passing.
and i'm getting older.
i don't wanna grow old.

forever young.

i'm glad i didn't go to uni yet.
its me time this year.
to take a step back and relax.
enjoy the time with family, friends and you.

teach me the art of forgetting permenantly.
some memories are better left some place else than inside my mind.

happy happy anniversary!

2005-11-04T00:14:00.000+08:00

Dearest baby,

happy 2yrs n 2mths anniversary baby!
its been a long sometimes tough road but we've made it so far.
:D
woohoo!
i'm really happy that we've been through so much.
thank u for the all the times that u've been there for me.
i really appreciate u.
I LOVE U!
:)

p/s: the 'road trips' these few days had been REALLY fun..:)
haha...i hope we have more of those!

love, hugs & kisses,
ur gf.

2005-10-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

i ripped the quiz off jillene's blog.
and i really thank every one from the bottom of my heart whoever wished me happy birthday and who came for the chalet.
i'm terribly sorry to those i missed out i have very bad memory and everything was fucking last min.
those who didn't come and gave me a stupid excuse fuck you. don't tell me u can come and in the end give me a stupid excuse and didn't come in the end.
those who had a valid reason and would/is try/trying to make up for it (and i can tell who) i understand and thank you for ur well wishes.

special thanks to my baby for helping me in so much and for dealing with the worst i can ever bring out. thank you so much if not for u i don't think i cld have lasted. i love you! :D

also special thanks to chaos for helping me in so much too. i think i treated u lk shit. thank you for waking up to me yelling and shouting and being very very angry.LOL.

now relax and enjoy my quiz
-------------------------

1 ) how are u feeling rite now?
damn happy

2) y u feel this way?
cos i'm talking to my gf and i bought my adidas jacket lk finally.

3) are u a giver or a taker?
haha.. money-taker love-giver.

4) when was the last time u went overseas?
few weeks ago to god damn china

5) what are u thinkin of rite now?
msn stop blinking pls.

6) ever spoken to police officers in uniform?
yeah freaked me out lk i did something wrong

7) would u go after a guy/girl who looks drop dead gorgeous?
stupid qns next pls.

8) does ur bf/gf looks matter alot?
have u heard of plastic surgery?

9) what would u do if u see a bird injured on ur way?
i duno.

10) ever laughed till u cried?
duh.i laughed till i farted too.i also laughed till i dropped a tooth whn i was younger.haha.

11) would u steal another's bf/gf?
do i look lk the sort?

12) will u give $10 to someone u dunno?
yep. charity duh

13) ur fav place in ur house?
hall. reason-tv

14) the colour of ur bedsheet?
i have no idea. i don't rem.

15) is ur home air-conditioned?
ya.

16) did your friends came to your house yesterday?
lame.

17) do u carry a file?
yeah to smack ur face.haha..

8) color of ur room?
purplish white.

19) would u date a gal/guy who looks extremely hot but has this screwed up attitute?
i have a screwed up attitute. i don't need someone else who has a screwed up attitute dumb ass.

20) ur zodiac sign?
libra. i'm pretty.haha

21) would u set up ur own business?
i'm lazy

22) hotmail or yahoo?
snail mail.haha

23) wats the time now?
11.43pm

24) believe in love ?
i'm in love now wat do u think?

25) do u paint ur nails?
i get pple to paint them for me.its called a manicure

26) has anyone promised u things which they neva did?
tell me something new.

27) who are they?
i do not wanna get beaten up don't ask.LOL

28) would u ask a gal/guy out?
as friends ya.

29) do u like pets?
cats yes.

30) if u had the chance to be someone else who would u choose?
the richest person on earth's daughter so i don't have to do anything but ask to get money.

31) do u trust people easily?
nope.

32) have u made a prank call to the police?
hahahahaha..reminds me of something..hahahaha..i don't do these kinda things but i noe someone does..LOL.

33) first person who called u today?
how the fuck wld i noe. but it must be my gf cos no one calls. normally.LOL

34) first sms u received today?
my gf lah.

35) last person u chatted with on msn?
my gf lah.

36) one thing u cannot tolerate in others?
think they noe everything but they don't.

37) do u like doing puzzles?
love it. esp jigsaw.

38) pizza hut or kfc?
both.

39) green tea or white tea?
huh? is there such a thing as white tea? i only noe red n green tea.

40) do u drink coffee/tea
both

41) what are u goin to do after this?
tv lah

42) number of belts u owe ?
owe?

43) fav shoes/sandels?
if i didn't lk it wld i buy it?

44) who is on your mind rite now?
my gf and my brother.

45) who do u hate?
dad.

46) did it rain today?
ALOT

47) one person who matters alot to u?
it has to be 2. mom & gf

48) do u prefer bus or mrt?
BUS! i noe someone wld choose cab or car..haha

49) one thing u are currently worried about?
MONEY. donations anyone?

50) "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" what do u think of this?
fuck u. tt's cos my brain stopped operating and tt's all i can think of.LOL

Addictions.

2005-09-08T01:50:00.000+08:00

I'm addicted to this new game i bought yesterday.
It's called conker.
I need MORE games for the dumb x-box sitting at home which serves as my entertainment whn my trusty tv fails on me.

I am also addicted to CSI. which one?
I watch ALL of them.HA.
Its like whn i start i can't bloody fucking stop.

I'm also addicted to ciggs which i haven't touched in a VERY long time.
It's been a long time ciggs.

I'm also quite addicted to using NETS to pay.
FUCK.

I'm also addicted BIG time to that damn turn machine.
$3 bucks each turn for that prized thing which i like so much.
Stupid piece of thing duno earn how much from me already lor.

I'm also addicted to ch 55.
shit.
and wa lao i missed the god damned nice gu dai show before the nice 9pm show which is on repeat and i'm watching now.

O ya.
fuck you.
Neh.
just wanted to curse.
haha.
I'm also addicted to that.
I meant cursing ok.

O ya.
I like the song on my blog.

N dan hor.
you're my biggest addiction.

What's on> Ch 55
The show> ge shi zui xiong ( i hope my han yu pinyin is still ok.)

*smiles. 2nd year anniversary.

2005-09-04T04:08:00.000+08:00

i believe in simplicity and here i leave you with just one sentence.

I love you my baby.

just that simple.
enough said.

I think you should know..

2005-08-23T17:10:00.000+08:00

Seriously baby,
you were never stupid.

(You're sitting directly opposite me right now, and you haven't a clue what i'm doing. But it's okay. Right?)

=)

ahem

2005-07-23T19:02:00.000+08:00

Hi everybody,

this is the latest boring update in my ever so boring and mundane life.

gf, work, yoga, home, out & not enough slp.
go figure.

i have nth exciting to say..
except..

EVERYBODY BETTER SHOW UP FOR MY GIRLFRIEND'S PARTY ON THE 8 OF AUG AT COCO LATTE OR U'LL GET IT FROM ME WHN I GET BACK FROM BANGKOK OK!

haha..ok..
tt was for kicks...
OK LAH..
i'm ~~boring~~ bored ok..
nth better to do lah.

so ok..
watssup recently..
nth much..
except tt i really look forward to my 2 yr anni with my baby in sept... :D
time really flies eh.. : )
i'm happy..
and finally..the pieces of my life are coming together..

i STILL don't noe wat to do for my 21st birthday AND the worst of luck has to strike me now!
whn my birthday is so close..
the 2 movies tt i REALLY REALLY wanna catch r both R21!
sin city and mysterious skin.

i shld stop now but i urge everyone to listen to these 2 songs tt i'm soooo hooked on if u haven't heard it yet, You're beautiful by James Blunt and otherside of the world by duno who..heehee..
and AND buy or by any other means get the new gorillaz album cos i think its really good..

Track spinning now!> Rollar Coaster, Blink 182.

father's day. heh.

2005-06-19T22:23:00.000+08:00

well, today's father's day.
so what?
my father's not ard.
i have no idea where he is, how he's doing and why i'm being such an ass.

i don't have to guts to look for him and yet i don't want to be one of those that sees their father for the last time on the father's death bed.
ya noe? lk those u see in drama serials.
sigh..

i can't bring myself to forgive him for what he's done to my mother and me emotionally.
but somehow the hate seem to be disappearing day by day now.
what am i supposed to do?
sigh.

~~happy~~ unhappy father's day indeed.

on another note, su anne d's back.hey hey!
nice seeing you back!
*waves
:D
and grad day is on 15 july.
i'm offically past tense for tp on tt day.

also, my baby and i had our 1 yr and 9 mths anniversary..
wahhh..damn long hor envious enivious?
heehee..better be..
i'm envious of myself..
and i won't change anything for the world.
AHAHAH!
self praise international self disgrace.
T! ya rite!

well, i'm working at singtel,
and in my opinion, well u can ask me what's my opinion.
i don't wanna be sued!
LOL.
i hate work though.
wait a minute i don't lk working at all.
ha!

o well, my wish for now.
to get into a freaking uni.
till next time.
happy reading viewers!

p/s: to tt special person,
its been a long time coming and i can't stop now.
sounds familiar?
:P
i love you!

random

2005-05-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

i don't care if this turns out difficult to read..
lol
i just think black and red goes well..
haha!
anyway,
today baby went out with mom
argh
spoilt our plans.
she was supposed to come over n watch the mj show.
nvm..
sooo
i cleared up my room instead..
haha!!
much later in the day though

i realised i have alot of rubbish tt i didn't get rid of!!
haha
my clothes were a mess my poly stuff were everywhere..

and also i realised that its only now that i've finally put away my poly stuff that i realised why i didn't wanna put it away
i was in denial that poly is over..
cos i didn't noe wat to do and i'm scared i'll make a mistake with my life..
i've got to decide wat i wanna do, where i wanna go, etc..
o well..
i'm putting everything off till aft sept whn i come back from europe..
sigh.
i'll miss my baby..
:(

and baby its a lil late but who cares..
happy anniversary baby!!
i love you and i hope many many more anniversaries come!!
and baby i missss you sooo much toooodayyyy!!!!
:D:D

also, i held the light saber!!!
super uber uber COOOLLL!!!!!!!
the real deal with the sound and all mannn..
not the stupid toys 'r' us plastic one ok..
i'm not lk the greatest star wars fan ard
i mean i didn't really enjoy the original star wars until the new one came out man..
but seriously u shld see it man..
so damn damn cooolll..
and whn u hold it..it sounds cheesy but mann i felt lk darth maul or anakin man....i just went whooooaaaa the whole time i was there..
hahaha!!
cooolll..

1 year 8 months

2005-05-04T09:39:00.000+08:00

Hey baby,
Happy Anniversary!

It's been a long time coming,
and i can't stop now.

=)

p/s,
Good Morning!

HELP!

2005-05-03T15:05:00.000+08:00

hey everyone..
i'm back from aussie..
its great to be back cos i missed my baby but i hate the weather still..

anyway, i just wanna ask everyone to help sign this petition please..
its to get the US gov to re-direct one percent of their budget to combat extreme poverty, AIDS and starvation.
we in sg are very lucky like our parents always say.
so just giving 5mins of your time to sign up for this petition might just help people who need help urgently.
and 1% might seem very little but actually its 25million US dollars so it is alot..

the site is www.one.org
sign up today!

the new template.

2005-04-25T02:49:00.000+08:00

this template is courtesy of jillene.
part of the konstruk team.

check us out!

You

2005-04-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

"I realise i spend 23 hours out of 24hours thinking about you. In the 24th hour i realised i spent 23 hours thinking about you and you're worth my every thought ."

Just something i thought would make you happy. : )
I don't feel like going to Australia but when i'm in Australia, you're always on my mind baby. Always.

Thoughts.

2005-04-17T02:10:00.000+08:00

You know how it feels whn you have this huge internal emotional battle like the 2 sides of your brain don't seem to wanna co-operate anymore.
Well it sucks.
Its like you know what you should do but you're not doing what you should do but doing what feels good to you.
In short, being extremely selfish to the detriment of others.
the worst thing is that it affects not only you but someone you really care and love and others that you care about.
The feeling sucks so much it feels like you're constantly being torned and ripped apart like a crocodile ripping up its prey.
And also if it also affects and triggered a series of unpleasant events and ~~makes you look like~~ made you a fucking jackass who deserves to be shot.

Yes, i'm talking about me.
i'm apologising now.
I'm sorry.
To you especially.
You didn't need this from me.
I'm also sorry to any other people whom i've made things so ridiculously uncomfortable for.
I'm usually not an unreasonable person.
I'm really really sorry.
Please accept my apology.
Even if its a slient acceptance.
I'm willing to learn from my mistakes.

Thank you for being so nice despite what's happened.
I've never been more thankful.
After alot of thinking i realised how much you've done for me.
I noe its kinda late but better late than nvr.
I love you. I really do.
I need to learn from my mistakes for i'm only human.
Thank you for being so understanding.

hello!

2005-04-12T03:25:00.000+08:00

Oh oh, actually i wanted to blog cos i felt like it.
Now i got something to blog about!!
hahaha!!
firstly, i just remembered that one morning i woke up panicking..aha
thinking omg what the fuck time issit, what time is sch or do i have a deadline or something..
dan i realised sch is out.
shit felt like a moron.
LOL..

next thing is i just asked my baby if we are still gg genting!!
:D:D
i soooo wanna go on a trip with my baby again..
reallllly wannnaaa go, so excitin you noe to go on a trip with someone you love... brings a smile to my face
i hope we can go my baby..
and also baby, we can spend so much time together dan. : )
i love spending time with you baby..really, i do..I miss you already baby.

ok another thing is..i can't rem the other thing.
o o..
here's this, i think i'm a jerry bruckheimer film/series fan.
hahaha..
here's a list of shows i like that he made.

1. CSI NY/Miami/Las vegas. (no matter how csi miami/ny ain't tt good, i still watch it. i kinda like it aft a while for the miami one.i think so for the ny one too..haha)

2. Cold case ( in case pple don't noe, it used to air on sundays from 11-12am i can't rem the exact time, on TCS 5)

3. Without a trace (it airs on mondays at 3am on TCS 5)

4. The amazing race ( airs on weds at 8pm on AXN before CSI LV)

5. National treasure

6. Gone in 60 seconds

7. Coyote Ugly

8. Con air

9. King Aurther

10. Armaggedon

11. Black Hawk down

alot of shows hor? i didn't realise until recently i found out. ok i suppose that's it. back to without a trace. i also realised that i'm like advertising for him now..hahaha...free advertisment sia. but seriously, i think these shows are really worth watching.

update and a story.

2005-04-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

hello whatever audience i have.
school is over.
unofficially.
i have not been doing anything since than.
sucha slacker and moron eh.
well i sorta kinda wanted to go to Nias with my mom to volunteer
but stupidly, i fell sick which meant i couldn't take the vaccinations necessary for the trip
also, i couldn't go with her cos it was not a pte org organising this event so i couldn't go.
it was for nurses and doctors see.

well, might be gg aussie soonish for a holiday.
depends.
dan we'll see wat job is waiting for me.

i miss my baby.
i haven't been seeing much of her cos she's working.
baby!!!
i miss you leh.. :(
BUT, i look forward to our pre arranged dates next week.. :D
and also doesn't mean that we don't meet so frequently now means anything is changing ok?
I still love you just as much..
and I LOVE YOU MY BABY!

aiya..here's the story la.
don't feel lk blogging anymore and plus i wanna watch friends..haha.

I screamed my lungs out for you.

I woke up screaming in the train and I looked to my side for you. It wasn't you beside me but a stranger. I then remembered that I was going home alone on this long ride home. I hadn't seen you in two days. It might seem like a short time but it seemed like an eternity to me.

Everybody in the train had turned to look at me strangely. I pretended like nothing happened and calmed myself down. I started to think of the day's events. My thoughts drifted to you. I had thought about you the whole day. Everything I did or saw reminded me of you. I missed you. Even the song playing in my ipod screamed the lyrics to your favourite song. I wanted to cry so badly but I bit my lips and forced myself not to.

Than my thoughts started to drift, wondering if you thought about me or missed me or did you even love me. I felt horrible. Horrible is not the word that can even describe how I felt. I thought about the stupid and small argument we had the three days ago. It made me feel even worse. I'm so useless till I can't even console you. I just want to hold you in my arms and tell you that I love you.

I know now that there's no way I can do that. Not now, not ever. You're just so far away now and there's no chance of me being close to you ever again. The only way I can even be remotely close to you is when I dream of you. Even nightmares made me feel like you're here with me.

Suddenly, the days felt long and the nights are even longer. It was so lonely at night I constantly cried myself to sleep. I never felt so lonely in my life before. This was no doubt the worst I've ever felt.

Finally, when I do sleep, no matter what my dreams somehow always lead to you. I have no idea how or why that happens and it is always the same dream. That dream. That one dream will no doubt haunt me for the rest of my life.

It was the day after we argued. I was supposed to meet you outside starbucks. I saw a figure that looked like you from a distance and when that figure came closer I realised it was you. I waved to you to tell you that I'm here. You came closer and when you were crossing the road, a black Chevrolet SUV shot out of no where and hit you.

Shock just took over and soon I realised that it was my own voice screaming in my head. Tears flowed like lava out of a volcano and I ran out onto the road where you lay. I screamed for you to wake up but there was no response. I couldn't believe what had just happened and before I knew it I heard the sirens of the ambulance alerting everyone of their arrival.

I woke up sobbing and searched for my mobile to give you a ring just to reassure myself that everything I dreamt was false. The moment I dialed your number, i realised that it was true. You are gone. I put my mobile phone down and started to cry even more. The warm hugs, your reassuring touch, your kind eyes, everything. It's all gone, part of the past, you'll never be there again.

I miss you. I just wished I could turn back time and on the day that we argued, I wished I had said an I love you instead. It's all too late now, I'm never going to have that chance to say I love you to you anymore.

Please, have a lil decency!

2005-03-02T00:40:00.000+08:00

ok, i might superficial but fuck you.
i don't care.

You are the fugliest fuck i've ever laid eyes on.
oh my god!
have some decency!
I have oriental eyes?
AHA!
not like you look nice with oriental eyes..hahaha..

and you noe wat, i hate to say this but your whole group's full of ugly pple.
Not lk i'm the prettiest thing on earth la.
i duno at least i do something abt it?
or not take pictures at all?
LOL..

and also,
you, who thinks that u're O so smart..
*rolls eyes
when u actually do your work and not do it cos of the group apprasial, dan come and criticise others ok?
and also, keep ur fucking mouth shut cos sometimes pple don't need to hear your voice.
i am in the position to say you cos I DO MY FUCKING GROUP WORK and i can't stand pple like you taking advantage of my frens ok?
and i've got the guts to say it in your face if you need me to.
i'm saving you the embarrasment by not mentioning your name.

and you, bitch!
you shld have known better than to step on my tail.
i might not be the smartest in law,
but i've got one of the loudest mouth in law.
and you noe wat, i hate to have you in my mediation group!
FUCK YOU! PUI!
yes i'm dissing you like i dissed you in ILAW!
i will gladly do it agn.

and you, stupid fucking irritating bitch!
i can't stand the fucking sight of you!
argh!
Please, stop wearing sports shoes,ugly t shirts and track pants!
i think i wear those t-shirts to sleep?
and pls, stop thinking pple lk you or like to be frens with you or think tt pple love your presence.
good lord!
at least save your dignity!

and you,
at least i'm in the real world
are you?!

I think its obvious enough to noe who's who ok?
'nuff said.
i just needed to get this out of my system.
aiya fuck you all who think otherwise ok?
got a prob with me i'm sure u can recognise me to say fuck you in my face.

irresponsible.

2005-02-27T22:07:00.000+08:00

I really think those girls who get themselves pregnant and than throw the poor babies into the rubbish chute, leave them at the void deck etc are so irresponsible!
Haven't they heard of protection?

Like today for example, it was reported that this undergraduate from a local university threw her baby into the rubbish chute.
There's a reason why its life imprisonment for infanticide.
The baby is innocent.
If the baby is not wanted, give it away for adoption.
If not, abort it!
Dont just throw it into the chute!
For crap's sake, its your own flesh and blood.
I don't understand how can anyone be so cruel.
And apart from that, you're ruining your whole future by doing that and going to jail.
What a waste of talent and life.

Yes, i might be cruel, i might be your worst nightmare, i might be the biggest bitch.
But i'll never do that.
Life is precious.
You'll never know till you've lost a loved one.

On a lighter note, this weekend, awesome!
I don't have to do rush work!
And i got to see my girlfriend!
:D
Baby, i love you.
I can't say enough of that.

Song - The blower's daughter by Damien Rice that's playing in my mind.

Lesson not learnt.

2005-02-16T23:47:00.000+08:00

I don't think i'll ever learn my lesson or be any more hardworking than i am now.
I also think that my english is going down the drain.

All this because of the SIP feedback.
I don't think i really put in enough effort.
I tried though.
Didn't seem to work.
Last min work.
I could have gotten pass with commendation.
I screwed myself up.
something which i finally could have been proud of which i could have achieved all by myself.
Gone down the drain all because i was lazy.
I don't have anyone else to blame but myself.
Though i do cos i blame a certain someone for it.
heh.
go figure.
Let's just say the end results wld have been different if not for that certain someone.

I miss the days when deadlines weren't my world.
I used to be alot more fun.
Now, my second home the reservoir has turned into the library.
My best friend, the tv has turned into the laptop.
Thank god, my gf is still the same.
I don't want that to chg for nuts!

I miss being happy and having more sleep.
I miss going out with friends and enjoying myself and not think of work for one min.
I even dream about work.
I really do think i'm on the verge of a breakdown.
Its lk i'm just standing on the edge of this really thin ledge and if anyone just touch me, i'll just fall off into a black abyss.

Or maybe,
i have an even simpler answer,
PMS.
*rolls eyes*
or maybe, NOT!

Where's my free time god!
Where's the really happy me?
Why didn't you ans my prayers and stop the workload from coming?
Why god why, just tell me why, spare me the breakdown.
Where's the strong resiliant me?

I ~~need~~ want to finish this and get on with life.
This is just a part of my life i need to get on with.
Give me the strength pls. Someone. Anyone.
How bout u? I need you. ok?

valentine's day hen quai le.

2005-02-14T01:29:00.000+08:00

In reply to my sweet baby's comments.
this shall be officially be a happy post.
and be dedicated to her.
:D
yay!
i wanna go to the only place where u can see lemurs!
haha..
or to africa to see the elephants and lions and hyenas!
haha..

ok la..
i noe u ~~hate~~ don't like animals,
so we shall go to perth!
to rest and relax!
it's nice and laidback there.
and the beaches are beautifullllllllllll.
and i can rest and relax with youuuuuuuu...
woohoo!
my valentine..
yayy!!

and hor,
u promise already huh.
cannot break hor.
if not when the promise is broken, at the same time, so will my heart.

and of course,
i love u my silly lil goose.
my only silly lil goose.
:P
how's this for my response baby?

xin nian bu quai le.

2005-02-14T00:57:00.000+08:00

let me whine i last time ok?

cny is screwed.
down the drain.
bye bye.
but i still have another 10 more days to make up for it..
HAHA!

basically its lk a chain reaction ya.
it sucked because i had 4 assignments due on friday.
so i cldn't go out.
my baby wasn't free also.
so since i cldn't go out aka visiting, i had less ang pao.
which meant less money.
dan today went to play mahjong at my baby's place
n i lost $16.20!
lucky its play 10cents 20cents if 20/40 i die. it will be $32.40!
i won lk what 2 games?
T!

u noe wat made things worse?
i stayed up doing my work.
so i decided to delete some stuff from my email..
u see this is wat itchy fingers do to u.
gmail no nid delete any mail lor but i still delete.
lk wat's my god damn problem rite?
nvm.
in the end i deleted part of my proj.
PERMENANTLY
fuck.
went to sch
RE DID IT!
nvm.
aft tt did sports mm.
sent the email
but w/o the fucking attachments.
wa lao.
don't have back up.
gotta redo.
at tt point of time i hadn't had slp from thurs aftnoon whn i woke up.
so at that point of time, it was friday 4plus pm. so i didn't slp for 26hours straight.
cb.
not enough slp still lk that.

eeyer..
cny sucks so far.
hope it'll be better from now on.

anyway..
its valentine's day today.
so happy valentine's day everyone.
hope everyone finds a date.
doesn't matter if it means being a threesome, foursome, orgy fuckever.
HA.

that aside,

baby,
happy valentine's day.
I love u.
I noe u love me too..:D:D
yay!!

p/s: that day of escapade will come soon sweetie.. :)
we'll escape to some nice island where the sky is blue and the sea is also blue.
and everything is PERFECT.yay!

*footnote: some copycats don't get the idea do they? they need to be shot to fucking death. knn.cbb.

angry angry fucking moods

2005-02-02T22:24:00.000+08:00

i think i'm fucking pissed.
I duno why.
I think i'm fucking down and can't stand the stress anymore.
I duno why the fuck.

O maybe i do know.
Perhaps cos i can't find all my fucking shit things i wanna find.
The fucking deadlines are all so fucking close.
I think i'm gonna die from too lil slp.
or from over exhaustion.
fuck duno which is which.

i'm just so fucking confused.
ARGHHHHH..
I just wanna scream FUCK THE WORLD FUCK DEADLINES FUCK U FUCK EVERYTHING.
ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
This fucking school term is just too fucking short, i don't noe how long i can take sch.
Its making me go nuts.
Frustrated.
Piece of ass crap wipe.

'U hold me together.
Escape from everything with me?'

What to do?

2005-01-30T13:21:00.000+08:00

Poly life is ending...
I'm far behind in sch work..
everyday is a fucking busy day..
This sem is the most stressful semester i've had..
Despite that, i pretend that i can cope with it.
Fact is, i'm cracking up..
I can't hold on no more..
I admit it..
i'm fucking stressed up..
i think i might just break down..

For now, procrastination and my gf are the only things that's keeping me sane..
I hate sg sch system..
fucks you up n leaves you fucked..
Where do i go aft poly?
fuck sg, can't even get into a local uni..
gotta go pte..
ain't got so much money..
i'm just bitter.
cos i wonder if i'll ever get a job i actually enjoy..

i should thank everyone for helping me through poly..
and i do thank you guys from the bottom of my heart
somehow, i've always had help from frens through out poly..
i don't wanna name names, i might leave someone out and tt person might get sad..
u guys noe who u are, esp those i always hang out with..
heh heh heh..

and big thank you to my gf,
she's always been there for me..:)
esp in sch, whn i get stressed out,
or whn i'm doing my work,
she's always there..
thank you baby..:D

thank yous r so cliche but it works..
and i mean them..:)

Where are you now?

2005-01-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

Baby,
I think you're bathing right now.
This is just a short note to tell you that,
i miss you,
and i love you.

Can't wait to spend more time with you.
Please please please will you be my valentine this year?
(I'm asking early.. :p )

" You are my only, my only one. "

Another story..

2005-01-04T01:18:00.000+08:00

This story is fictional and does not relate and name mentioned is fictional and does not refer to anyone. in any case, i don't know any alfred.T..lol...enjoy or maybe don't enjoy..please leave comments..

The rain just kept falling. It just wouldn't stop. I wish it would go away. Its making me so hungry. Where am i?
I woke up with a start to realize that i'm out in the streets again. I wish I had a home to go to and I wish I wasn't in this cold.
I left home when I was 10 and worked the streets the only way I knew how. The streets I lived in provided the only home I recognized. Everyday I walk along the streets begging for tricks and for money. I hated my life and I yearn everyday to get out of this rough patch I call it. I yearn for the parental love I never felt. There are just those days like today where I wish I would be better off dead. Somehow deep inside me, I just knew this wasn't for me.
One day, my dream came true, I met this guy who offered me the works if I were willing to bed him. I told him sure honey, i've been doing this my whole life. Its my pleasure. Fact was, I just wanted to get out of this life. After the deed was done, He did give me the money. I left, happy, the happiest I've ever felt in so long, since that Christmas when my family felt right when I was 6 and everything was perfect. I thought this was it. I would just get along with life and finally do something with my life. Just as I was thinking this, I felt a huge and painful bang on my head and when I came to, my clothes were torn and my money was gone.
I cried till my eyes swell and I couldn't cry no more. I cried till I fell asleep on the streets where I came to. I never felt more like I wanted to die.
Suddenly, I felt like it wasn't raining no more and I looked up and found someone sheltering me from the cold and asked me if I was hungry. I thought I was hallucinating and I just yelled go away I don't need anymore of this shit. Leave me alone. That warm voice I heard just picked me up and just dragged me into this huge car. I was too tired to resist and I had no longer any strength or energy to stop that person. I just told him to do what he wanted and just leave me alive. This life means nothing to me anyway.
The stranger clothed me and gave me food. I was just in a daze and I didn't know what was going on. I soon fell asleep and when I woke up, I was in the streets again. I thought that I was right, I was just hallucinating. Nothing was real anymore. I looked down and it just hit me right than that I wasn't. Everything I thought I dreamt was reality. But I was confused. What did he/she want, why did the he/she leave me out here? So many questions and I had absolutely no answers to.
That just brought the hope out of me again. I thought somewhere out there, I did have a savior. Someone did want to save me. My train of thoughts was abruptly interrupted when this person out of nowhere came up to me and asked if I was Alfred Fan. I told that person yes, that is me and what did he want. He told me he was from the police. I asked what was it about and he told me that my parents are dead. I told him I didn't care and I wish they were dead. He told me that I didn't understand and that they left me something. I told him my parents were junkies and they didn't give two hoots if I died on the streets. He told me I was wrong and there was everything else to prove it.
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and I went with him, anyways, I had absolutely nothing to lose anyway. When we reached the department, there was a very old man sitting in the conference room waiting for our arrival. When I walked in, he presented himself as the lawyer doing the will for my parents. He told me that they had a child before they were married and because of their status in life, they had no choice but to leave me with my mom's cousin, which proved to be a very wrong choice. They had no choice but to leave me there because they couldn't take me back.
When they did want to take me back, it was too late, I had already ran away. He told me that he was the one who clothed me and fed me that night and affirmed this with the DNA in the blood that he drew from me that night. I had absolutely no recollection of that and I just sat there in shock and disbelief. I didn't know if I should believe this absurdly wild story that I had just heard.
He told me further that they had actually left me their mansion and since they had left me in their cousin's care, they were so distraught about the whole issue that they had since not have any more children and I was the only one left. I had inherited enough to last me my whole lifetime.
This was absolutely unbelievable. I just sat there in shock and just started crying. The parents I had never knew my whole life left me a fortune enough to last me a lifetime.

Things that piss me off.

2005-01-03T13:18:00.000+08:00

COPYCATS.
Purple was MY thing.
I liked it since i was in sec 3. way before anyone did.
way before it was called the in thing.
The songs ARE so not u.
and THAT SONG.
is OUR SONG not urs.
get your own song.
and yes this is a personal attack.
n btw..they are passe..PLEASEEEEEEEE...
*rolls eyes*
The foreign language was MY STYLE.
well..anyways..i take it as a complement...haha...
People who did it first pls take creditssss and ur respective complements...
We're all good enough to have people copying us..
*rolls eyes..
I just needed to rant it out..
hehheh..

another thing that pisses me off..
someone who thinks she is o so good..
n being o so 'romantic'
pls.
Note it. people are calling U gross..
ya ya..all the yada yada of the i don't care what pple think..
yada yada..its a wonder y so many pple don't lk u.
There's a fine line between gross and romantic.
U've crossed the line.
Don't u get it?
u ain't no pretty woman..

Here's an equation for your thoughts
U=FUGLY fat bitch, liar, copycat.
and so many things more.
most of all, i can't stand you.

A story..fictional

2004-12-27T22:50:00.000+08:00

Past
It started out as a normal day for S and T. T went to work as he usually did and S did her chores at home and took care of K, their only daughter.
T had a terrible headache at work because he did not have enough sleep and couldn’t concentrate with his work at hand. He felt so terrible he decided to go home. He thought this might be a good idea since he had not spent enough time with his family.
When he went home, his young daughter greeted him at the door with a wide grin and her yelling 'Daddy!! Daddy!! You’re home so early!! Yayyy!!' He asked her where’s her mummy and she just said 'O, mummy has her friend over again and they’re in the room.' T asked K who was that and K just said that it was one of mummy's girl friend that always came over when T wasn’t around.
T shrugged it off, thinking that his wife just needed company and went up to the master bedroom. When he entered the room with a “Honey, I’m home…”, he stood there looking at his beloved wife moaning away and having sex with another woman, G.
S realized that her husband was standing at the door, she stopped and just sat up in the bed with G stunned, not knowing what to say or what to do. T left the house and never came back.
Present
K grew up and always asked S what happened to daddy. All S ever told K was that she and T had a huge argument and T left the house and never came back. K grew up without knowing a thing. Soon, K realized she was different from the other girls in school. When all the girls in school were all crazy about boys, K looked at them like they were her brothers. Instead, when she looked at her best friend Z, she felt her heart racing and when they spent time going out, she realized how happy she felt. Soon, Z broke her heart, she found herself a boyfriend and K was left alone.
She picked herself up and soon found Y. Y and K soon became best friends and spent every moment together, to the malls, movies and walks in the parks with Y’s dog. They went over to each other’s house as they lived in the same neighbourhood and one day, Y kissed K. They realized that they were the same, lesbians and they got together soon after that. Months passed and one day, Y and K were in K’s room and they were making out as usual as K’s mom was at work. This time, Y and K lost track of time and S walked into K’s room and found them making out. S sat the both of them down and confronted them. They didn’t deny it. S asked Y if her mom knew about her not being straight and Y told S told them that it was alright with her and actually said that they were great for each other. Both Y and K was taken aback by how calmly S took this but thought nothing of it and just thought that S was cool with everything.
Y was given a key from K and S because she came over so often and she was like family to them. Thereafter, K found that Y started to behave very strangely and didn’t seem like herself and K thought it was because of all the same petty quarrels they always have. K blamed it on herself and always tried to find ways to make Y happy and appreciated. So when Y and K came back from their school activities on Saturday, they decided to have a picnic and they asked K’s mom, S if she wanted to join them. She decided that since she had no plans for the day, she should join them. K went to take a bath and changing while Y and S made food for the picnic. K took unusually fast as she was really excited about the picnic and when she went downstairs, she found in her horror, Y and her mom having sex on the kitchen floor. She was so confused and had no clue what to do. She just dashed out of the house and called Y’s mom to seek for help and advice. Y’s mom told her not to worry and that she should call Y and her mom to sit down and talk about it. K didn’t want to talk to them alone, so Y’s mom told her not to worry and she would come along.
That night, they sat down in K and S’s house to talk everything through. The moment Y’s mom walked in, S gasped, stood there in horror and just started crying. Y’s mom stood rooted to the ground and didn’t know what to do. Both K and Y started to ask in desperation what was going on. S, stuttering blurted out to K and Y that it was because she was having an affair with Y’s mom, G that K’s dad left. K, stunned for the moment, suddenly burst out in tears and ran out of the house. Y ran after her but couldn’t catch up with her. She yelled after K but K just dashed across the road without looking and this truck just ran her over and Y stared in immerse shock, realizing what happened, started to yell and shout and cry.
Both their mothers arrived at the horrifying scene, when reality settled into them, Y called the ambulance. K was sent to the hospital. Doctors tried their best, but unfortunately, she settled into a coma and has not woken up since.

p/s: Please leave comments people. Thank you very much.

Things that money can't buy

2004-12-22T01:17:00.000+08:00

I used to take alot of things for granted..
Like money, people i love, my friends, my family, my life.
I start to think that i am really blessed for the life that i lead.

I have a great gf.
A fantastic mom.
Great friends.
Enough to spend.

Why do i still complain i want more.
I suppose in life, when you've had a taste of the finer things, u abandon the simple.

I shouldn't take all these for granted.
I love you baby, my gf and i'm sorry for the times when i shouldn't have talked or treated u the ways i shouldn't have and thank you for always being there for me.
I love my mom and i'm sorry for lying to you, i can't help it. I just wanna be the daughter you think i am. Thank you mom, for bringing me up and teaching me how to grow up to be a good person.
I love my friends, i'm sorry for the times when i should have asked you guys out but i didn't and thank you for being there for me through thick and thin. You guys know who you are.
Thank you mom, finally, again, for the money you give me to spend, though i always overspend and you still give me money.

Thank you everyone for making my life a good life.. : )

Please?

2004-12-20T00:33:00.000+08:00

Baby,
spend the night with me tonight,
please?

=(

days go by and the world can pass me by...[ Fill in the blanks]

2004-12-17T01:46:00.000+08:00

1. SIP is ending..hooray..

2. Pay better be on monday..hooray hooray..

3. I suddenly LOVE sch..SIP reasons..I know pple who will agree with me ok..

4. Been thinking alot recently...seems like i have nth ahead in my life..I feel empty..

5. X'mas shopping..pls..let's go..baby? anyone else? :P

6. I noe tt its sick to read pple's blog and see them talk about their lovers gfs bfs etc..I jus need to say this...screw u guys...I MISS MY BABY..

7. My diamond ring broke..fucking stupid..i can break such a hard object..

8. CAN PPLE PLS COMMENT ON MY BLOG...TT'S WAT MY FUCKING COMMENT BOX IS FOR!!!

9. Thank u for your kind attention..I know this update is very much in need of the pple who secretly read my blog(so thick skin hor? lk fuck i care) and those who blatently read it and those whom i know read it.

10. Pls wait a mth or maybe less for the next update..haha..seeing how i feeling wor..hahaha..

footnote: fucking bored..hence stupid entry..heheh..

Ghosts from the past.

2004-11-24T13:10:00.000+08:00

Some pple ought to be shot!
Hmph!!!
*grumbles
This person, has the guts to say stuff BUT not admit it!
She is o so drama mama and the o so i wanna please u so i can live in my misery!
pls..*rolls eyes* get a fucking life muthafucker.

*note : this is out of anger. random outburst.

on a second note, i'm at my baby's place..
gonna get inked ltr.
nose's stuffy!
gonna cough my lungs out!
sucks ass.

These words.

2004-11-22T01:49:00.000+08:00

I'm gettin off my stage
The curtains pull away
No hyper bowl to hide behind
My naked soul exposes
woaaaaah

I love you I love you, thats all i got to say
cant think of a better way, and thats all i got to say
I love you, is that ok?

I jus think these verses of the song is nice...
do u think so baby?

i am missing you

My baby's staying over tml..:D n p.s: i pissed myself off..T

2004-11-19T01:22:00.000+08:00

yayyy..baby's staying over ltr..WOOHOO!!
:D:D:D:D
hmm..duno wat r the plans for ltr..

n blardy hell,
i'm pissing myself off..
cos i feel so FUCKING FAT..nb..

Happy tots happy tots!!!
yayy..so happy baby can stay ltr!!!woohoo

p/s: thks 4 doing the layout for me k baby..*winks*
I LOVE U!
i miss u so much also la baby.. : /

New template!

2004-11-17T18:36:00.000+08:00

I hope you like this baby..
=p

2004-11-11T22:31:00.000+08:00

Very summarised entry. long too.

10 things.
1. I started SIP. Sucks.
2. I miss my baby. I have no idea where is she now, even though she's on msn.
3. I can't wait to see my baby tomorrow. WOOHOO!!
4.I am broke. Sigh.
5. My pay is coming. Boss, pls don't screw this up. I need the cash.URGENT!
6. I need to pluck my bushy eyebrows.
7. I want aldo shoes.
8. I'm gonna miss my mom. she's going to China this sunday. :(
9. My mogu had a hole just now, but my mom sewed it up for me already. :P
10. There's bollywood/hollywood now. Its funny.

1st thought.
I don't understand why some people are so full of shit.
I don't know what great mistakes i've done for them to do whatever nonsense they do.
I say what i wanna say.
I do whatever i wanna do.
U have a problem with me.
Tell me straight in the face.
U had ample time to do so.
Plenty of opportunities.
So what if i'm o so defensive.
At least i don't hide behind my gf n use her like a puppet.
I have my own thoughts and i have my own opinions.do u?
I was kind enough to tolerate both your shits.
Don't take me as a sick cat.
Stop your childish games.
Get a life.
U noe who u all are.
I noe u all read my blog.
If u don't like what i say.
Let's meet and trash this out.
I don't need us to be friends.
Just for you guys to stop this shit.
I'm not kidding.
Let's not do this like kids.
Cos i know i'm not one anymore and i think u're not too.
Btw, if u finish readin this entry and u think i'm just trying to be philosophical, dan i noe too bad, i've just wasted time and effort but at least i've tried.

2nd thought.
Something just hit me in the face when i started SIP.
I realised that i'm 20 and there are still so many things i wanna do and want to be done.
So many things that are out of my reach.
How people are mean just because i'm an intern/new.
I am unaccomplished.
I realise if i don't decide what i want in life, time will pass me by and before i noe it, i'm dead.
I wanna be sucessful but i don't noe how to get there. : /

3rd thought
If i were ever to break the news to my mom that i smoke and i'm a lesbian, i would break her heart.
My mom has always been so good to me.
She always tell me if i have any problems, tell her, she'll always be a listening ear for me.
Deep inside i wanna tell her what's wrong each time she sees me sad, but i can't.
I can't bear to break her heart, her trust, her love and hopes for me.
I don't wanna be a disappointment to her like my dad was.
I wanna be everything she thinks i am, but i'm not.
I just wanna tell her i'm sorry, i'll be what she thinks i am, but i can't.
I can't help me being me.

4th thought
I know i have a bad temper, I've let alot of people suffer under that.
Especially my baby.
I just wanna thank her for everything she's done.
I know she loves me.
I love her too.
That's more than enough for me.
I can never say enough of all these to her.
U're special to me.
I think you noe that but to tell u again.
I love you, more than you can ever imagine. :)

2004-10-21T00:45:00.000+08:00

I hope you like this baby..
=/

I love you!

Love,
Me.

2004-10-10T02:57:00.000+08:00

Listen up baby,
'cos i've got something very important for You to see;

runningincircles_again: I love you Mel Tan.
runningincircles_again: so damn much.

so damn much.

2004-10-05T01:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 1 YEAR N 1 MONTH ANNI BABY...I LOVE YOU!

(ps : i noe i'm a lil late..: / sorry baby)

2004-09-30T23:08:00.000+08:00

I shall now declare today food fest day..hahahaha
LAME...
hmmm..
today..my baby n i wanted to go study..so we went to town to study..
thinking we cld study at lips the cafe but dan..
we ended up at pastamania..
we tot we cld study..BUT
we ended up eating creamy chicken pasta n garlic bread..
dan took neo prints..
which btw..turned out DAMN nice.. :)
I liked all of them.. :D
dan we went to check out movies..
but there were none..
so we went to far east..
ended up at ramen ten..haha
n my baby ate ebi ramen..
i ate a super spicy ramen..though it deceivingly says ma po ramen and it only says spicy..
wa lao..
the end result..i nearly died because it was so spicy..
n dan..i was too embarrased to ask them to add extra soup cos it was too spicy and cos i asked for something spicy..LOL..
my baby helped me ask the lady for extra soup..:D
yayyy..
n dan whn it came back..cos it was too spicy still..
my baby helped me to take out the chilli bits n fed me with spoons of noodles that had no more chilli on top..(thank you baby.. :) )
so ok..we tot..tt's it..no more eating..
dan we went to parkway cos town was so freaking boring..
so we went there..
whn we reached there,
my baby is so cute..LOL
she say this young girl eating cha ye dan..so she wanted to eat aso..
we searched the whole basement of parkway..
dan i asked the lady frm auntie annie's n she said it can be found at eu tong seng..
so we went there to buy 2 eggs..
aft tt..we went to eat at fish n co..ahah
aft tt..we went to yoshi.. n i drank soup..haha
and all this happened frm about 12ish pm to about 7ish pm..
LOL..
we ate so much..

the only food now i need..is food for the eyes n heart..
which is my baby..:)
n to you..i had a great day today..*smiles*
u make me laugh..

2004-09-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

Ok..So i haven't blogged in about 2 weeks..
Let's have a lil update..
I was sick aft my run..
yes.i don't understand why either..
i was dwn with high fever and vomiting lk non-stop for 2 days..
was trynna recover the nxt 2..
struggled to go out during the weekend..
and missed 1 test, 1 assessment and 1 assignment.

ok..
this week..
handed up my assignment, did my assessment and did a retest.
exhibition for my baby's mom from wed to fri..
kinda went shopping on sat.(details on my baby's blog)
went grocery shopping today..
and last but not very least and mostly importantly..

I miss my baby..
SOOOOO badly..

today, i think we exchanged the least amount of smses since we've got together.(apart from the times whn we out together.)sooo sadddd...but its all good..we're talking on msn now!
:D:D:D

*baby,
I miss u so much leh..
i can't wait to see you tomorrow yea?
heehee..:D
I love u my sweet lil baby goose and now bee as well..
hahaha..:P
p/s: don't worry bout money ok baby? things will work out just fine..we'll work something out together..n don't forget..u'll always have me ok?*smile baby..cos u look better with it*

2004-09-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

I feel acomplished today.*beams*
I went to the president's challenge walk.
YES. u hrd me rite.
LOL.
Mel Tan went 2 run.
eh tt rythmes.
haha..
It was a a rather short course only. 2.5km
I went with my mom n her colleagues.
Dan we headed down to yam char resturant!
yayyy..
haha..
dan i came hm..
Slpt.
The only and most impt thing that i missed the most today was my baby.
din manage to talk 2 her much..
I get 2 talk 2 her now though!
yay!

This is for u!
Some people search for a fountain
The promise is forever young
(You know) Some people need 3 dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
With no one to share with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all
If it aint you baby, if I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything
But everything means nothing if I aint got you, you, you

N you, no matter what, i'll love you.

2004-09-06T23:23:00.000+08:00

Her present

yet again

The cookie!

*warning*
mushy n long contents. Read at own risk.

I jus had the best weekend of my life.:)

Well, Sat, 4th sept 2004, marked our 1 year anniversary.
she made plans 4 the both of us. :)
I had 2 go 2 some court visit in the morning/afternoon and get the remaining stuff for her present.
Meanwhile, she went to get my remaining stuff for my present.:P

Then i went hm, got ready n she came in a cab to pick me up.
I fell aslp in the cab(was kinda tired)
N whn i woke up.:)
We were at the Amara hotel.
It was beautiful.

Then whn i entered the rm..
IT WAS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL!
haha..
The bed n all..(sigh) so pretty..
Even the cupboards n the bathroom.
And..everything ~~was~~ is perfect.

My baby got so excited than that she didn't wanna wait and wanted to give me my present.
So i decided.
Since mine was such a small present. : /
(i'm sorry baby..i am really broke..:( )
I decided to give it to her. :)
She opened it.(photos are before this entry)
N she was really happy..:)
I bought her a wallet, a candle(she'll noe wat it meant), a heart shaped Mrs Field's cookie cake with the words 'happy first year anniversary' on it.
It all came with a card n with the help of my ipod 2 songs that she first let me hear when we first re-met. :P
Then my baby chased me out of the room so she could get my present ready.
She made strawberries and chocolate dip..mmmm..YUMMEHHH!
It was really yummy man!

Then, after the present opening, we went out 2 dinner.
At sakae sushi.
:)
After that, i met chaos while she went about the last bit of my present.(yes, there's more!)
I played pool 2 whilst away the time.
When she called me, i finished up the last game and i went 2 catch a cab 2 the hotel.(thanks chaos if u do read till here 4 loaning the money)

When i entered the room.
It was the most fantastic sight ever.(see my baby's blog for the pictures)
It was a sight beyond words.
It was really pretty.
It was like rose petals on the floor and inside this huge box.(sigh)
So nice.:)
N beside it was more strawberries and chocolate!LOL..

N i was supposed 2 open the bigger box in the huge box 1st.
BUT noooo..hahaha..i had 2 act smart n find the smallest box.
Which btw contained the real thang..
hahaha..
Then, my baby stopped me and ask me 2 open the big box 1st.
so i went 2 open it.
N yea.it was jus a decoy..haha
So i opened the small box and it was a ring.
:)
with my name on it.
and engraved in it was the anniversary date(this year's

Well, that put a wrap to everything public.
The rest is private.(grins)

*A note for my baby*
Thank you so much for the fantastic weekend.
I don't know how i can ever do something as sweet as you.
I really appreciate whatever you've done for me.
Thank you so much.:)
I love you baby.
So very much.
With all of my heart.
You are my world.
N you rock my world.
My most precious baby. :)

2004-08-31T15:03:00.000+08:00

I CAN'T WAIT FOR SATURDAY!

love,
your baby.

2004-08-22T02:19:00.000+08:00

Hey baby. I should have done this earlier but i didn't have the time n i did not noe how to do it. I figured it out all by myself u noe! I love the present u gave me.:) So sweet of u. I noe it brings back memories n i noe u love this song but by Tony Bennet. :)

Fly me to the Moon.

Oh it's often used many words
to say a simple thing.
It takes thought and time and rhyme,
to make a poem sing.

With music and words I've been playing
for you I have written a song.
To be sure that you'll know what I'm saying,
I'll translate as I go along.

Fly me to the moon,
and let me play among the stars.
Let me see what spring is like
on Jupiter and Mars.
In other words,
Hold my hand.
In other words,
Darling, kiss me.

Fill my heart with song,
and let me sing forevermore.
You are all I long for,
all I worship and adore.

In other words,
please be true.
In other words,
I love you.

Fill my heart with song
and let me sing forevermore
you are all I long for
all I worship and adore.

In other words,
please be true.
In other words,
I love you.

Pictures of my present!:D

Hmmm..i wonder what is this?

It's a present from my baby. So sweet rite? its supposed to be our 1 yr anni present but i saw it a tad 2 early..heehee.

Here's the front of the present.

N here's the back of it.

The inside of the Cd.

I think this is really nice. Isn't it?

The Cd itself. Diana Krall, Live in Paris.

Here's a last look at it. Thank you baby. U're sooo sweeetttt..

2004-08-17T23:57:00.000+08:00

I MEANT THIS AS A FREAKING COMMENT.
BLOGGER WON'T CORPORATE WITH ME.
CAN'T LOAD MY BABY'S BLOG.
SO I CAN'T EVEN COMMENT.

ANWAYS..

This is what i wanted to say..
My silly lil baby..
I miss u la...
I love u so much u noe..
ok...at least i can talk 2 u on msn..
heehee..can't wait 2 c u tml..:D

c..such a simple comment u noe..
n nooooo...blogger won't load my baby's blog 4 me..
nvm...now its settled liao..LOL

2004-08-10T01:47:00.000+08:00

I simply HATE moods u get whn u're having your mens.
Its fucked up.
N whenever that happens to me.
I happen 2 feel that i hate myself.
As in REALLY HATE myself.

BUT

SHE made it betta.

-Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable- says:
u tink i'm ordinary?
only one. says:
hmmm
only one. says:
wat do u mean ordinary
-Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable- says:
its a really stupid qns really
only one. says:
2 eyes, 1 nose, 1 mouth. that's ordinary
-Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable- says:
as in do u tink i'm an ordinary person? nth special..
only one. says:
ure mine. that makes u special
-Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable- says:
fantastic great or anything
-Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable- says:
awwww
-Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable- says:
so swt
-Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable- says:
:)
only one. says:
=)

Everybody now..awwwww...
Thatt was so swt la...
She really makes my day..
*smiles*
Now back 2 talking to her on msn..

-Note: go figure on who's who in the conversation. Its not hard. Really.

2004-08-09T03:40:00.000+08:00

I got a rose, I got a rose, I got a rose, I got a rose, I got a rose

My baby bought me a rose

We went 2 centro jus now 4 the toni n guy show.
Golden cafe 4 supper.
Am talking 2 baby now.
YAY!
:D

-end-

2004-08-04T00:04:00.000+08:00

Happy anniversary my baby! yayy!! 11mths!woohoo!

2004-08-01T01:03:00.000+08:00

I MISS U MY SILLY LIL BABY!!!!

2004-07-22T22:58:00.000+08:00

2dae is a damn long day..
so fucking tired..
tml project meeting at 3-6
sighhhh.....
sians man..
i miss my baby..:(
o yes...
my baby n i watched the WHOLE season of the OC already..
yes..the WHOLE season..
so sadddd the ending..
don't worry
i won't spoil the ending 4 every1...
lol..

n ya noe wat..
the new season is coming out in november..
sians..
i jus love this show..
not more dan i love u..
hahahaha..
:P

so tireddddd...
need slpppp soonnnnn.....

2004-07-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

1stly, thank u every1 who helped me curse tt asshole who stole my hp..
i've got my line back now..
THK GOD!
if not...i'm a really handicapped person w/o a hp...
so pple..u noe the drill..kindly sms me ur num if u wanna..
if u r cheapo...msn me..LOL..

i dun noe y..
but i feel lk this sch term is happening faster dan i can imagine..
soon..its gonna b SIP..
i dread it..
i really dread it..

kinda regret not studying all the rest of the tym i had 2 do so in the previous semesters..
now..i jus fear tt no company would even wanna employ me..
think i'm jus fearing the worst?
i duno..its scary..

hate new environments n new bosses n wat not..
makes me wonder if i'm actually gd enough 4 the job..
my inner demons r at work

i nvr really blogged so seriously eh?
i can b serious ya noe?!
haha..ok..maybe not..

*warning*
mushy contents..read at ur own risks
n u noe wat..
i haven't really thanked n showed my appreciation 4 the person who consoled me whn i was dwn, who held me whn i cried, n basically held my fragile soul up.. n kept me going..
Ms Chong Su-An
the love of my life..
Thank u..
n i really appreciate all u doing all u do 2 keep me gg..
:)
i love u..:P

2004-07-16T00:41:00.000+08:00

I lost my hp..this sucks..
n before tt..
mel seet, faezah & i were stuck in a traffic jam 4 lk 45 mins..
n i waited 4 a cab 4 45 mins in the pouring rain..
ggrrr..
was late in the end 4 drew n napier..
35mins late lor..wa lao..

ok..back 2 the losing hp thing..
i haf no fucking idea where i lost it..
it was either in the cab or the security area at ocean towers.
sickening..
any1 who reads this..
msn/email me with ur hp number..
if u're my friend...

however..
the drew n napier visit was great!
the firm was HUGE!
n it was so cool man..
but the lawyers all look so stressed out!
LOL..
they all had the 'save me' look..
makes me wanna have my internship there..
though it looks so stressful..
but so not gonna happen..
not with my lousy gd 4 nth grades..

AND..
i got 2 spend tym with my baby..
:)
tt was the best man..:D
so swt of her 2 give me cash whn she got her pay..
*thk u my baby..:)
u din hafta do tt..
having u is enough 4 me..*smiles*
i love u my baby..:)
n she treated dyan, manda n jillene 2 85 jus now..
pity the rest couldn't make it..
but its all gd..

n whn i came hm..my mom gave me a necklace..
normal white gold 1 only la..
LOL..
day ended gd..

2004-07-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

DREW N NAPIER VISIT TML!!!

fucking exciting..
LOL..
*note: drew n napier is a big law firm in singapore.

ok..
back 2 2dae..
spent my day with my baby!!
had our haircut..
baby's hair looks so much nicer now..
mine is..ehh
kinda short..
lol.
but baby says its nice..

got 2 spend tym with her..
really nice 2 do tt..
esp since we don't get 2 do tt so often now..
:P

sighs..projects and all r gonna start soon..
i can sense their presence already..
alrite..
not gonna think about tt..

need to slp soon..
have to wake up at 7am..
how gory..

alrite now..
Until nxt tym..
toodles..

one more thing..
p/s: i miss u

2004-07-07T00:29:00.000+08:00

Current thoughts
sch sucks man..
cheebye..
wed-fri sch starts at fucking 9am..
nb..thurs end at 7pm some more..
so damn tiring lor..

i wanna watch spiderman 2 with my baby soon..

nid 2 slp soon..

i love my baby
i miss my baby too..

2004-07-04T00:31:00.000+08:00

Its a very special day for us..
*smiles*
Its been 10months now..
N still gg strong..
I can't explain it, i'm so into you
Its beyond words how i feel for you
You're jus so special to me..
All the ups n downs tt we've been through so far, means so much to me..
You've always stood by me whnever i needed you the most..
Comforted me whnever i needed you..
There's nth more tt i can say apart frm the 3 words tt i say 2 u everynight..
I love u my precious baby..

Happy anniversary baby..

2004-06-29T22:58:00.000+08:00

O O O..my baby bought me a pair of sunglasses..lol..
so swt of her..:D:D
so happy...
she says its 4 our anni which is coming up this sun..:D:D
so damn exciting..
10months..
:)
n i love her more n more everyday
LOL..
i'm so mushy..haha

o yes..
check out this super lame n super bimbotic sentence..
'An arrow is a line with an arrowhead'
lk wtf eh..
if u don't noe wat is an arrow, how the fuck u noe wat's an arrowhead..
lol..

2004-06-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

ok..so i was waiting 4 nip tuck 2 show..
n wat happens..
stewpid Euro2004..
*grumbles*
yea yea..i ain't no big fan of soccer..lol..

anyways..
my baby came ovr in the morning/afternoon 2dae..
spent sometym 2gether..
it was great..:)
finally had sometym alone 2gether..
n dan my baby had 2 go teach tuition..

so there i was bored & hot at hm...
n manda calls!
haha..
guess wat?

MANGO SALE

hahaha..
so i basically begged my mom 2 go to the sale with me..
n boy was it fruitful..
haha..
i bought a dress & 4 tops frm mango..
dan behold..adidas was having a sale as well..
so i bought a white cap 4 myself n a pair of shoes tt i'll share with my mom..
n dan the best thing came aft tt..
*smiles*
i got 2 meet my baby..
had dinner at 85..
dan we went hm..
quite a gd day i wld say..
it'll b better tml whn i get 2 spend the whole day with my baby..
*beams*

2004-06-19T23:21:00.000+08:00

This would be the first entry aft bali.
It wasn't the best trip i could have given my baby cos most of the tym i was sick.
Rather sad if u might ask.
Couln't fully enjoy myself n on top of tt..i kinda made my baby din enjoy as much as possible as well.
Though tt was so..
It was fantastic being able to spend every moment with her..
It meant so much to me whn she woke up at the gory hour of 6am jus 2 get panadol 4 me frm the reception..
My superman to the rescue..
Haha..:P
It was so swt of her..
I was so touched..:)
Thk u so much my swt baby..:)

Ok..apart frm tt..We did manage to get some fun done..
Lk jet ski-ing n banana boating lk wat my baby has mentioned..
It was kinda a shame though tt we din manage to do scuba diving & parasailing cos the waters were too choppy..
N we managed to do abit of shopping..
Some surf brands there r jus tt lil bit cheaper there..
N we got complimentary massages for 20mins only though..

P/s: I'll give you my love for yours.. ;)

2004-06-13T16:40:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO!
1) I got a new blogskin..all thanks 2 my baby..so swt of her..:)
2) I really wanna thk my baby 4 all her hard work on the blogskin..its so pretty now..i love it! but not more dan i love u..hahaha ;)
3) We're leaving for bali in a day's tym..OMG! i can feel the excitment pumping so hard in my blood.:D:D
4) I miss my baby so much..:/

2004-06-08T00:14:00.000+08:00

*chants* Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali Bali!!!!!
woohoo!!!
1 motherfucking week..
I cannot wait la..
I can feel my veins popping out soon frm all the excitment..
I can hardly keep the excitment in!
LOL

p/s: I love my baby more dan anything else..
My stewpidd wisdon tooth is aching lk fuck..
I have not cursed so much in my blog before whn i'm so happy..lol

2004-05-31T23:06:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION!! EVERY1..PLS HELP LOOK OUT 4 A PEPPER/SALT MINIATURE SCHNAUZER.
RESPONDS TO THE NAME ZEFFIE.
HE WAS LOST AT THE BUKIT BATOK AREA..
ANY LEADS PLS LEAVE A COMMENT..
OR DROP ME AN EMAIL..
THK U..
BELOW ARE THE PICTURES OF THE DOG..

(click on photo to enlarge)

2004-05-22T23:20:00.000+08:00

Ok..
So these r my current thoughts..
LOL..

1) I miss my baby
2) I love my baby
3) I wanna spend everyday with her
4) I had a great day 2dae with her
5) I can't wait to go to bali with my baby
6) I nid $$
7) I can't get ovr the fact tt my sandals jus broke like tt while i was walking n i had to ask my baby to buy a pair 4 me
8) I have no idea how i walk until lk tt
9) I wanna stop itching NOW
10) I nid slp

2004-05-22T00:23:00.000+08:00

My baby n i had our hair cut 2dae..
Mine looks eh..weird?
My baby's complaining tt her's is ugly..
I tink its nice..

I miss my baby..

>Playing<< The beat of my Throbbing headache..ggrrrr..

2004-05-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

WOOHHOOO...
I can't wait 4 bali..
Its confirmed..:)
I'm gg there with my baby..
N kay lii n luqman..
I can't wait..
We're finally gg 2 spend some quality tym 2gether..
I've been workin everyday n i only get 2 c her 4 a few hours every night..so sad..:(

today,
She was so swt la..
She came 2 my office 2 find me..
N since there was no1 ard..
LOL.
I let her stay at my office 4 abit...
Dan i let pple noe i was gg hm early frm work..
Dan i went off with her 2 plaza sing 4 abit..
we made way 2 my place aft tt..
*grins*
We managed 2 spend tym watching tv n eating dinner 2gether..
My silly baby loves the brinjal my aunt cooks n she was so happy tt she ate it 2dae..
N i asked my mom 2 get the lime ice-cream for her..
Cos the ice-cream pple were at the door..
LOL..
It was so nice...
Its lk gg hm 2gether..

>Playing< In my head {In the shadows - Rasmus}

2004-05-11T01:03:00.000+08:00

Ok..My baby did this..:D
So nice hor..
Now our blogs r indentical!
LOL..

Anyways i had this song stuck in my head lk just only..
lol..
Which explains the words beside the entry..:)
N this part is jus 4 U

I don't mind not knowing what I'm heading for..
You can take me to the skies...
It's like being lost in heaven
When I'm lost in your eyes

Enough said..
I miss u.
:)

2004-05-04T23:32:00.000+08:00

Baby..i rem this aftnoon u saying tt u hrd this song playing n it reminded u of me dedicating it 2 u..:)
O well..here it is once agn..:)
Jus 2 tell u how much i love u.
N happy 8th month anniversary..:)

Winter snow is falling down, children laughing all around.
Lights are turnin' on, like a fairy tale come true.
Sitting by the fire we made, you're the answer when I prayed
I would find some one, and baby I found you.

And all I want is to hold you forever.
All I need is you more everyday.
You saved my heart from being broken apart,
you gave your love away,
and I'm thankful everyday for the gift.

Watching as you softly sleep,what I'd give if I could keep
just this moment, if only time stood still.
But the colors fade away, and the years will make us gray,
but baby in my eyes, you'll still be beautiful.

And all I want is to hold you forever.
All I need is you more everyday.
You saved my heart from being broken apart.
You gave your love away,
and I'm thankful everyday for the gift.

All I want is to hold you forever.
All I need is you more everyday.
You saved my heart from being broken apart.
You gave your love away,
Can't find the words to say
And I'm thankful everyday for the gift

2004-05-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

Well..
Yup yup..
I'm starting work tml..
: /
sighs..
I cannot accompany my baby 2 find jobs 4 her liao..
N i can't go out as n whn i want with her anymore..:(
So sad..
I wish i cld though..
Sighs..
I miss my baby so much..

I'm so psyched bout bali though..:D
I can't wait 2 spend all my tym with my baby..
Tt is enuf 2 make me smile...:)

2004-04-30T13:32:00.000+08:00

Well..
Bring it on..

2004-04-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

hmm..
Copy?
I beg 2 difer..
Wat makes u tink u're so original?
Grow up pls..

More lk tt u're jealous some1 else can do a betta job dan u do eh..
Heh..
I haven't even started bout the pretence tt u put up 2 others tt u're some goody two shoes..
N how u guys treat some frens as if they were invisible..
U wld sae tt u're selective bout ur frens..
I wld sae FUCK U right in ur face.

Whatever la..
Jus fuck off..
Live ur life as u want..
Treat those u want to as invisible n leave it lk tt..

2004-04-26T14:13:00.000+08:00

hope you like it baby..
:)

love,
your secret admirer.

2004-04-22T17:59:00.000+08:00

EXAMS R OVR!
*Throws confetti*

My baby's exams r not..:(
So poor thing hor..
She's working hard 2 study 4 her nxt paper now..
N she's sitting erm..kinda lk opp me..
She looks so serious..lol..
So cute la..

Ok..So i tot my baby was studying..
BUT..
She was not..
BUT!!
She was emailing her mom bout bali..
:D:D
Can't wait 4 bali!
WOOHOO!!
Any donations 2 the Mel Tan fund agn?
This tym we're funding 4 a trip 2 bali..
LOL..
Kind donors pls contact me 4 further assistance in donations..

N o yes..
Some1 ~~shoot~~ kill tt motherfucker playing techno in the sch library pls!

2004-04-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

hmm..exams..
Last paper tml..
I did not touch the books AT ALL..
I don't care.
I can't wait 4 exams 2 b ovr.
Esp whn my baby finishes her exam as well..
Dan we can haf fun..I ~~think~~ noe so.

I wanna eat shang mi now.
My baby jus mentioned XXXXs..
So tt was the 1st thing i tot of..
SO GREEDY..
can't stand myself sometyms..

I miss my baby

2004-04-17T21:57:00.000+08:00

Ok...i got back my OB coswork marks..c+
Not tt bad la..
At least its a c..
LOL..
Not an F..
haha..

O yes..
My sandals died on me 2dae..
:(
Both sides BROKE!
So sad..
I need new sandals..
N i want the Ms sixty's boots..
BUT..
I'm broke..
So fuck man..:(
I need a job during the hols..
BADLY..
So i can buy stuff 4 my baby n myself..
:D:D

I'm at my baby's hse now..
:)
Her mom is supposed 2 bring us 4 pool..
How strange indeed..
LOL..
Ok..note the supposed k..
Cos we might not go in the end...
Haha..

OOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
I'm so fucking excited bout BALI!!!
:D:D
I wanna go!!
Esp with my baby..
How nice...
I can imagine us...
Sitting at the beach...
Watching the sunset and the sunrise..
*beams*
I really cannot wait..
I love u baby..who is sitting beside me now blogging awy as well...
HAHAHA..:D

2004-04-13T10:44:00.000+08:00

*Yawns*
ok..
Gd morning..

Alright...
Exams in a wk's tym.
Got back my accounts coswork marks..
T..big fat F..
: /
I think that means another supplementary paper..
Sighs..
Unless i get lk 50+%/60% 4 my exam..
Bummer.

The rest have not come in yet..
I wonder how i did..
: /

Am missing my baby alot..
*pouts*
N i wanna go bali with my baby
Sighs..
I hope my mom say anything 2 it..
I can only hope..
BUT..
she already said..
If her mom is gg..
Y can't my mom go..
SIGHS..
If tt happens..
My mom will tok 2 her mom..
N if they both accidently say anything 2 each other..
My baby n i r both dead meat..

Ok..enuf of depressing crap..

Happy tots..happy tots!!
I'm happy with my baby n i love her n she loves me..
Tt makes both of us happy...
:)
Ok now 4 a song tt makes me smile cos the lyrics r so swt but its only a part of it...happy song..
LOL..

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

Needless 2 say..Its 4 u, my baby..:)

2004-04-07T21:04:00.000+08:00

Alritey dan...

I duno what 2 blog about..
hahaa..

CSI is on now on 19...
OoOo...
Looks interesting..

I'm slpy..
I love my baby
hahaha..
Ok..no link

I'm jus slpy la..
Therefore, i don't make sense..
haha..
The only sense i make is tt i love my baby..:)
I'm contented..
Back 2 CSI!

2004-04-04T03:59:00.000+08:00

Recognise this baby?
:)
Its our song
Its 4 us..
On this special day..
:)

Uhh uhh uhh.
You ready B? Let's go get 'em..

[Verse 1: Jay-Z]
Look for me! Young, B
Cruisin down the westside - high, way
Doing what we like to do - our, way
Eyes behind shades, this necklace the reason
all of my dates been blind dates
But today, I got my Pharoahess girl wit me
I'm mashin the gas, she's grabbin the wheel, it's true to the heart
She rides with me - the new Bobby and Whitney
Only time we don't speak is during "Sex and the City"
She gets Carrie fever, but soon as the show is over
She's right back to being my soldier
Cuz mami's a rider, and I'm a roller
Put us together, how they gon' stop both us?
What ever she lacks, I'm right over her shoulder
When I'm off track mami is keepin me focused
So let's, lock this down like it's supposed to be
The '03 Bonnie and Clyde, Hov' and B
Holla

[Chorus]
[Jay] All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend. (me and my girlfriend)
[Bey] Down to ride to the very end, it's me and my ~~boyfriend~~ girlfriend. (me and my ~~boyfriend~~ girlfriend)
[Jay] All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend. (me and my girlfriend)
[Bey] Down to ride to the very end, it's me and my ~~boyfriend~~ girlfriend. (me and my ~~boyfriend~~ girlfriend)

[Verse 2: Jay-Z]
The problem is, you dudes treat the one that you lovin
with the same respect that you treat the one that you humpin
Now they 'bout nothin - if ever you mad about somethin
It won't be that; oh no it won't be that
I don't be at, places where we comfy at
With no be-atch; oh no you won't see that
And no, I ain't perfect - nobody walkin this earth's surface is
But girlfriend, work with the kid
I keep you workin at Hermes, Burkin bag,
Manolo Blahnik Timbs, aviator lens
600 drops, her-cedes Benz
The only time you wear Burberry to swim
And I don't have to worry, only worry is ~~him~~ her
She do anything necessary for ~~him~~ her
And I do anything necessary for her
so don't let the necessary occur, yep!

[Chorus]

talk 2 em- B...
(beyonce)
If I was your girlfriend
I'll be there for you, if somebody hurts you
Even if that somebody teasin' was me
Yeah-hee (break it down for 'em B)
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be
And so I put this on my life
Nobody or nothing will ever come between us
And I promise I'll give my life
my love and my trust if you was my ~~boyfriend~~ girlfriend
Put this on my life
The air that I breathe in, all that I believe in
I promise I'll give my life
my love and my trust if you was my ~~boyfriend~~ girlfriend

[Chorus]

2004-04-04T03:46:00.000+08:00

Jus a simple entry..

:)

Nothing cld make me smile more dan her
We had a simple day..
But tt's enuf 4 me..
As long as we had fun n most imptly we are happy..
Jus a simple movie..
N my silly lil baby booked the couple seats 4 us..
My lil surprise..
I love it baby..
You make me smile
:)
Dan we had dinner at lemongrass
Stupid fella screwed up our reservations but tt din ruin our mood..
:)

Happy 7th month anni my baby n many more 2 come..
I love u so much..

2004-03-30T23:11:00.000+08:00

My baby came ovr 2dae..
Ate a whole bag of peas!
Hahaha..

Watched frens..
Lazied ard..
Zenna came n took her shorts n borrowed a cd frm me..

Baby went hm..
N she asked me 2 go play this game frm lego..
Haha..
I cannot make it 4 games man..
Got a lil frustrated n stopped playing the game..
So i watched tv till the present moment..

Had a presentation yest..
Went alrite i wld sae.
Haha..
Gg 2 haf 1 on fri.

2004-03-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

wow wow ya e ya eeeeeeee
i love u more dan i can sayyyy
i love 2 twice as much tmllllllllllll
wow wow
love u more dan i can say!

I love u my silly baby..
TIGHTTTTTTTT HUGGGGGGG!!!

O yes..
I cut myself while shaving abit of my eyebrows..
Ouch..
Pain pain..
How silly of me..
BUT!
My baby made it betta with an MMS..
*beams*

2004-03-28T22:02:00.000+08:00

I miss my baby..

*pouts*

-end-

2004-03-28T01:14:00.000+08:00

Yummy..
Steamboat..
Minus the 'cong' wld b nice..
Haha..
Thks manda!
:D

Punk'd on mtv now..
heh heh heh..
No animal planet 2dae eh..

I wanna hug my baby now NOW NOW NOW!!!
*bleahs*

Pleased by the soundings of > My own humming
HAHAHA..

2004-03-24T21:03:00.000+08:00

Looky here!!
:D:D:D:D

I've got a new template! i've got a new template! I've got a new template!!
Happy happy happy!!

Of cos..
My swt lil baby did this 4 me..
N so swtttttttt..
She burned the WHOLE season of friends 4 me..
So swttt..
So touched..

Thank you so much sweetie pie!
U're the best!

This is 4 u:

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep
This air is blessed, you share with me
This night is wild, so calm and dull
These hearts they race from self-control
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine
We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours, to fill or burst
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry
Whichever you prefer

The words are hushed, let's not get busted,
Just lay entwined here undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions..
hey did you get some?
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close
they can't hear, so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours, to fill or burst
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry
Whichever you prefer

Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair
That you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
And this walk that we shared together
The streets were wet and the gate was locked
So I jumped it, and let you in
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it
And I knew that you meant it
That you meant it, that you meant it
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it.

Rem this song baby?
I always remembered that u liked it..
:)
I love u baby..
With every beat of my heart.

2004-03-24T17:03:00.000+08:00

surprise baby!

like the template?
i hope you do, 'cos i know you like butterflies.. and this one's really nice. i think. (well, to me la..)
:p

so, erm, i have your old template stored on a notepad, so if you don't like this lemme know yes?
seeya in a bit.

2004-03-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

*Yawns*

I'm abt 2 pass out cannnnn..
Wa lao..
I hate projects cann...
ESP law projs..
I'll die doing all the fucking readings..
Neh neh..

On a lighter note..

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!
Tml my baby n i r gg 2 cut hair..
Yayyyyyy
Free some more..
Wahaha..
Aiya..
Nth fantastic la..
Toni n guy the student thingie la..
Dan we're supposed 2 go sakaeeeeeeeeeee
Yayyyy
Sushi..its been a long tym since my stomach had a meeting with u..
Haha..
I'm so lame..
*disclaimer*
Not my fault i'm lame k..
Its the readings..
My brain got fried..
Go figure..lol

U noe, u noe, U NOE wats the best part..
MY precious baby told me she has a surprise 4 me..
I've got a surprise, i've got a surprise, i've got a surprise i've got a surprise..woohoo!!

Watchin animal planet..
Got snakessss!!
Pythons..
Albino vermese python..
So prettyy..
Yellow n all..
I want a pet snake..
HAHA..
Jus kidding..
Or mayb not..
Aiya..
Its the fried brain la..
I'm not making sense..
Or mayb i am..
Ok..
I've offically lost my brains..

Soothed by the soundings of > Lady (acoustic) - Modjo

2004-03-22T00:57:00.000+08:00

Ok....long long tym since i've blogged..
LOL..
Yep..
This past week jus went past lk tt..so fastttt...
Ok..shall recap as much as i can..
*super long entry hor..

Wed
went sch early 2 meet my baby cus she had a long break..
brought my mom's laptop..
went 4 my only lesson..
1st tym i finished my assigment in class...LOL
nvr happened b4..haha..
dan went 2 find my baby n went hm..

Thurs
my baby came ovr..lol..
she finally watched blink 182's album launch tt i recorded 4 her..
n abit of my girl..
dan we slpt..
LOL..
she went 2 sch..
went with her..
accopanied her 2 bukit batok..
cus her mom asked her 2 go there n reformat her comp 4 her..
went hm..

Fri n Sat
had extraction in the dae..
din go sch..
took mc 4 the extraction
took out 2 teeth..
the bravest thing i can imagine..
with my strong fear of dentists esp..
n u noe wat..
HURT LK FUCK..
lucky my baby was with me.. :)
Went xxxxs on fri nite..
dan zenna's place..
woke up the nxt dae at 11+
went hm..
toked 2 my baby 4 abit..
dan was really tired n fell aslp
my baby went 2 sch.
my poor baby had 2 go back 2 sch at 6+ on a sat evening 2 do her project..

Sun
woke up at an unnatural hour of 7am..
!@$#%$^
had 2 go 2 my new place..
it was an auspicious hour b4 8am..
had 2 do some nonsense there
hur hur..
ask my mom dun look at me..
came hm..
took a nap..
grp mates came ovr 2 do proj..
yep on a sun..sucks..
cus sch was closed..
rushed 2 suntec 2 meet my baby n jillene 4 the studying in aussie fair..
o man..
so fucking ex..
mummy dearest says she can't afford..
my baby's mummy saes so 2..
:(
my dream of us living 2gether is bye bye..
BUTTT!!
my baby so cute..
said we can jus go m'sia n study..lol
i told her we can stay in the kampong there n b farmers..
HAHA..
dan no nid study..

2004-03-16T01:14:00.000+08:00

It's all my fault..
Every1 its my fault k..
Its not hers..
Its so simple..
I ruin things all the tym jus by something stupid i've done or said..
I tot i was sensitive 2 her feelings..
Guess i was very wrong..

I dun wanna hurt her.
N yet i do it tym n tym agn..
I am so insensitive..
I can't even gain her trust..
Sorry is a word i've used once 2 many tyms..
My world falls frm sky high 2 valley deep the moment i hurt her.
Whn i sae she's impt 2 me.
She doubts it already..
Cus everytym i sae tt..
I'm end up being insensitive..
Its my fault..

I jus suck basically as her gf..
sighs..
Honestly..
If i were her..
I wldn't haf fallen in love with me..
Yet she saw through my flaws n loved me as i was..
Yet i'm so stupid 2 ruin things..

2 my baby:
I wanna make things up 2 u..
Its not easy..
But i wanna try..
I noe i've said some stupid things..
I wanna stop all tt..
I don't wanna make u hurt anymore.
I don't wanna c u hurt anymore..
I love u so dearly..
Everytym u hurt..
It hurts me 2 c u lk tt..
I've said all these lots of tyms b4..
N i'll continue to try..
2 make u happy..
2 gain ur trust agn hopefully..
N tt i wun make u hurt anymore..
I really care 4 u..
With all my heart n soul..
I wanna take care of u..

This song is 4 u..
When I see you smile I can face the world
Oh you know I can do anything
When I see you smile I see a ray of light
Oh I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there's nothing in this world that could ever do
What the touch of your hand can do
It's like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling, I don't feel it
Cause you're here with me now
and one look at you baby
It's all I'll ever need, All I'll ever need

2004-03-14T21:35:00.000+08:00

yep..
I'm in a gd mood..
Jus tt i'm missing her.. :(
WOOHOO..got my ipod..
It's charging nowww...
N guess wat?!
I din get the 20GB 1..
I got the 40 GB 1!!!
WAHAHAHA..
Got it at a betta price as well..
Instead of $928..
I got it at $848..
Not bad eh..
N its 1st hand n has all the nice nice stuff inside..

Ok..shall go look at my ipod now..

Pleased by the sounds of > Joss Stone - fell in love with a boy

2004-03-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

Ok..its done..
1/4 of it done by me..
N of cos the rest is done by my sweetie pie..
:)
Love her 2 bits..
2 you:
Thk u so much 4 doing this 4 me..:)
U're the best baby..

2004-03-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

I'm in progress of a new template..
Visit this blog ltr..
:)

2004-03-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

Saw the ipod at the IT fair at suntec with baby 2dae..
IT IS SO NICEEEEEEEE..
I cldn't bear 2 put it dwn aft the demo..:(
I want the 20GB 1 liao..
Its more worth it at the fair..
I hope my mummy buys it 4 me..
*prays hard*

My baby bought so many many stuff at the fair..
haha..
Not alot actually..
Just a tv tuner card n speakers with subwoofer..
SO CHEAP..
Pple whu wanna get IT stuff faster go there n grab..
Gd bargins ard..

My baby's gg 2 slp liao..
Poor baby's so tired..
N i'm here blogging awy..
Not wantin 2 slp..
Cus i dun tml 2 come..
Extractions agn..
I dread it..
I miss her..

Pleased by the sounds of> Jet - r u gonna b my girl

2004-03-11T08:30:00.000+08:00

i love the way we love.

with love,
your admirer.
:)

2004-03-10T15:00:00.000+08:00

I'm in class now.
DYING OF BOREDOM..
N the cold..
Feels lk the north pole here.. : /

Surfed the web n saw the ipod..
So pretty..
So small..
So whiteeee...
I wanna buy..
Any1 wanna contribute in the 'buy the ipod' funding 4 poor needy me?
:(

I miss my baby..
Its a daily routine..:P
She's at ITAS with jillene now..
My poor sweetie has a headache..
Baby...it'll go awy soon k..
:) i'm pretty sure of it..
*muaks* This kiss is 4 u k..:)

2004-03-10T00:24:00.000+08:00

Hmmm..watched 2 movies 2dae with my baby.
1st was dirty dancing..
2nd was butterfly effect..
Both r gd movies..
hahaha..

I miss my baby..*pouts*

Ok..back 2 the movies bit..

Dun ask me if 1 is betta dan the other..
Both r gd in their own ways..
Dirty dancing..
DUH..the dancing of cos was nice..kinda cool actually..
The bodies of 2 looking lk 1..
Ok..tt sounded SO corny..
U hafta watch it 2 noe wat i mean..LOL

Ok..butterfly effect..
Hmm..kinda freaky at 1st..
N every tym Ashton Kucher rems some stuff from his childhood..
He gets lk a REALLY bad nosebleed..
N he kinda rolls his eyes till the white shows..
SO FREAKY CAN!!
Yea..same thing..
If u watched it u wld understand wat i meant..
LOL..

I wld not go any further about the movies..
For the sake of pple tt haven't watched both movies..haha.
C i'm so nice..
WAHAHAHAHA..: .P

Btw..did i mention i miss my baby?
I'm smsing her now..:D *big grins*
I love tt swt pea of mine..:)

Pleased by the sounds of > Meet virginia - Train

2004-03-08T21:01:00.000+08:00

Rained the whole god damn day.. : ./(check out my new mole face..ahaha..came up with it whn i had a typo doing the normal : /)

Wish i din haf sch.
Tt i stayed hm with my baby n we cuddled in front of the tv n watched tv n drank hot cocoa..
Damn..how nice..
She's at hm playing the sims now..
Sighs..
I miss her..:(

There's fear factor on tv now..
N they haf 2 eat african cave dwelling spiders..
YUCKS..

I saw the ipod 2dae..so pretty
BUT so freaking expensive.. : /
15GB-$548
20GB-$748
40GB-$928
My baby says the $548 1 is more value 4 money..
Since 15GB i already can store 1000+ songs..
So i shld not b greedy..
Anyways..
Lk real my mom wld buy it 4 me lor..
: ./

I MISS MY BABY...
I said tt already but whu cares..
I miss her.. : .(

mel